I Miss My Kids!

Here is the letter I just emailed to Jennifer, Cathy Lee, and Kathy Bell:

So, I just discovered something that I've been feeling, but couldn't quite "put my finger on." I'm hoping that you might have some advice or thoughts. I really miss my relationship with Titus and Audra. Doesn't that sound strange? I'm with them every day (except Thursday mornings when they go to Kids' Day Out at First Baptist). I just discovered that I think a lot of the reason is that I spend so much time "refereeing" between them ("Titus, be kind to your sister." "Audra, stop crying--he didn't touch you." "Titus, it is fine if Audra wants to sing." "Audra, stop provoking Titus." "Titus, did it make Audra happy or sad when you took her toy? That's right...sad. So, was that showing love to your sister? God wants us to love one another. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, BLAH!!!" I am so worn out from being the referee and being the "bad guy." Add that with our new busy Fall schedule of dance for Audra, soccer for Titus, and Bible Study for me...and trying to keep our house somewhat clean and errands run, etc, etc.

What happened to all that play time we use to enjoy? I use to think that was my strength. I loved playing with my kids and my relationships with them. I loved teaching them and training them. I'm not really sure what happened.

I've been thinking that I should try to get more of my work done at night after they go to bed (cleaning the kitchen, laundry, prep for meals, etc), so that I'm not trying to do so much of that during the day. (The problem is that I'm usually exausted and don't FEEL like doing it after they go to bed, but I can "buck up" and make myself do it.) I'm also trying to re-vamp our schedule for Fall and was thinking I might try playing, reading, etc with one of them while the other is in room time and then switching. (Rather than having both of them playing in their own room at the same time while I am getting things done around the house.)

I think part of my challenge the past 8 months has been that I've been nursing a baby (plus changing diapers, feeding solids now, etc) and have relied on Audra and Titus to entertain each other so much more.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Ashley.